


The Long Journey Back

by daviderl



Series: Gabrielle's Long Journey [1]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-20 02:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daviderl/pseuds/daviderl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Xena two part finale, "A Friend in Need" parts 1 and 2, aired on June 11 and 18, 2001. And, at least for me, it was one of the most unsatisfying finales I'd ever seen. </p><p>And of course there were dozens, if not hundreds of fan fiction stories written. Some had Gabrielle going to the Land of the Pharaohs. Others, like mine, had Gabrielle going back to Amphipolis, which made more sense to me.</p><p>This is the first of four stories, in one long chapter, I wrote a week after Part Two, about Gabrielle's journey back to Greece. </p><p>And then, in the remaining stories,  her journey back to Japa to reclaim Xena's soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Long Journey Back

_29 June 2001_

 

**The Long Journey Back**

 

As Gabrielle watched the sun slowly set in the west, and swayed with the gentle rocking of the small ship as it journeyed closer to Chin, she felt the finality of the death of Xena overpowering her as nothing had ever done before.

She held the jar of Xena's ashes even closer to her, afraid it might slip from her grasp and fall into the sea. It was the only thing she had to remind her of her lost soul mate.  Even the Chakram she had inherited didn't have the intimate closeness of Xena's remains.

As darkness descended over the sea, once again Gabrielle allowed the tears to flow. 

"Why did you leave me, Xena? You promised me you'd always be there.  You said we'd always be together. So, why? Why?"

So many times she cried over the loss of her dearest friend. How many more times would she weep before Xena's ashes were safely home in Amphipolis?  

"I have to take you home, Xena." Gabrielle said to herself. "You need a peaceful resting place, next to your brothers and mother.   Eve needs to know what happened. And Hercules; he'll want to know. And the Amazons. They'll all want to mourn."

How long into the night she stood on deck she didn't know. Only when she was afraid she'd fall asleep and lose her precious treasure did she go to her berth to sleep.

Two days later the ship docked at one of the many, nameless sea ports along the coast of Chin.  As she left the boat with her few possessions, common sense began to take over. 

"I have so little money, how will I ever pay for my passage across this great country? I don't even have enough to buy enough food or clothing, much less a horse."

As she walked toward the small village, she could feel eyes upon her -- non-Orientals were rare. But an unescorted round-eyed woman was unheard of.  But before she got out of sight of the harbor, a contingent of soldiers stopped before her.   Gabrielle's right hand went to the Chakram and her fingers followed its circumference until she touched the clasp at her belt, ready to launch it if necessary.

The captain of the soldiers bowed before her.  Gabrielle bowed back, her eyes watching for the first sign of trouble.

"You are the companion of the Warrior Princess?" He asked.

Fighting back tears, Gabrielle nodded.

"You will follow me." He said.

"Why should I do that?" Gabrielle asked suspiciously.

The captain, unused to his orders being questioned, hesitated then said, "S'uu Ma, the daughter of K'ao Hsin, the daughter of Lao Ma, requests it."

Nodding again, Gabrielle followed the captain, his men following behind. As they made their way through the village, Gabrielle could sense the people watching them out of the corners of their eyes.  They soon left the village and walked for another half day before they arrived at the home of S'uu Ma.

The captain bowed, backed away, and Gabrielle entered the house.  As she looked around, Gabrielle noticed that even though it was sparsely furnished, there was an air of elegance and luxury.

"You are Gabrielle." 

Gabrielle turned to see a small woman entering from another room. Her clothes were simple yet reflected a sense of breeding and nobility.

"Yes. You wanted to see me?"

S'uu Ma nodded slightly.  "We have heard of the destruction of the evil Lord Yodoshi at the hands of Xena. We have also heard she was slain in the battle."

"There was more to it than that, but yes, Yodoshi was destroyed by Xena.  And yes, Xena died also.  I have her ashes. I am returning to her home in the west."

"Yes. We have also heard this. You have a long and perilous journey ahead of you."

"I am aware of that. When your men found me I was trying to figure out some way to pay for the trip."

"There is no need for such concern. On your passage home you will be accompanied by soldiers of the warlords of each of the provinces you will be traveling through."

"I don't understand. Why would they do that for me? I heard many of them are at war with each other."

"Yes, you are correct. But such was their fear of Lord Yodoshi that his demise at the hands of your companion has assured you safe passage."

"I'm sorry, but I still don't understand. How is it that you even know about Yodoshi?"

"Bad news travels on the fastest of ill winds.  Lord Yodoshi's reign of terror is well known to us. And it was said that after his obliteration of Japa, Chin was next along his path of world destruction.  Such was our fear of Lord Yodoshi, that when it was told that the Warrior Princess of the West defeated him, all rejoiced.  We knew of you as her companion on this undertaking, and when it became known you were returning Xena to her final resting place, all agreed to allow you safe passage."

"But how will they know who I am? Couldn't anyone claim to be me?"

"This is true, but only you have the sacred Chakram. And even as we speak, your likeness is being distributed throughout our land. You will have no problems."

"I am overwhelmed at your generosity. I don't know how to thank you."

"It is we who cannot find the means to thank Xena, so we offer safety to you, her companion, hoping it will be sufficient."

"Yes, it is more than enough."

"When will you be leaving?" S'uu Ma asked.

"If possible, I'd like to start out tomorrow morning at first light."

"It will be done. My house is yours for the night. You will bathe, then eat, and then sleep."

The next morning, Gabrielle was up as the eastern sky began to brighten. S'uu Ma provided Gabrielle with extra clothing, food, and gold coins.

"Before you leave," S'uu Ma said, "There is one favor I would ask of you."

"Certainly. What can I do?"

"I would like a small amount of the ashes of Xena for the shrine I have created in her memory. I will guard them with my life."

Although she didn't want to part with any of them, Gabrielle allowed S'uu Ma to dip a small spoon into the jar and withdraw a measured amount.  S'uu Ma placed the ashes in a small glazed jar and set it between two candles in the shrine.

"My prayers go with you. May you find peace and tranquility throughout your life's journey."

Gabrielle nodded in thanks, and turned to go.  When she got outside she saw that the soldiers were back. All were on horses, and the captain was holding one for her. As she mounted, she nodded again at S'uu Ma, and they turned to the west, away from the rising sun.

They rode all day until there was barely enough light to make camp, and were up and gone again at dawn. This became a regular pattern. At Gabrielle's request, stops for meals were short, she knew there was a very long way to go, and the sooner it was over, the sooner Xena could be at rest. 

After three days travel, they were at the edge of S'uu Ma's province, and were met by soldiers of the adjacent one.  There was a brief conversation between the two captains and once again Gabrielle and soldiers were heading west.

When Gabrielle was handed off to the next troop of soldiers, the captain of the previous one made the same request of Gabrielle for Xena's ashes, so his warlord could also dedicate a shrine.  And the same happened with every changing of the guard. Everyone wanted to make offerings to the Slayer of Lord Yodoshi.

 

As Gabrielle sat by the campfire she opened the jar containing Xena's remains.  It was less than half full. When she started her journey from Japa it had been full.

"At this rate, there won't be any left by the time I get to Amphipolis." She thought to herself.

From her saddlebag, Gabrielle got out a piece of leather, and cut it to the size of her two hands.  Folding it in half, she carefully stitched and then double stitched three sides.  Slowly and carefully she poured the ashes into the pouch, and without letting the ashes blow out, she sewed up the last side. This she placed safely inside her shirt. Gabrielle then put ashes from the campfire into the jar, making sure there were no sticks or other foreign objects.

"I really hate to do this to them," She thought, "But I have no choice. What they don't know can't hurt them."

For more than a month they traveled across the kingdom of Chin until at last Gabrielle was entering the subcontinent of Indus.  Here she was handed off to the soldiers of a nomadic tribe. Although they had no knowledge of Japa, stories of a Great Evil in the east that was slain before he was able to destroy the world was spreading. And the pale-skinned woman with straw-colored hair carrying the magic Chakram was to be revered and protected.

 

It took another month to cross Indus and Asia Minor.  At last Gabrielle was looking out over the western arm of the Mediterranean Sea. All that was left was a short sea voyage to the west, and then a turn to the north, and on to Thrace, and Amphipolis. The last part of the journey Gabrielle took  alone. It was less than a two-day walk from the coast to Amphipolis.  She arrived in late afternoon, and walking through the village she couldn't help but notice how little it had changed. 

Soon she was at the tavern that Cyrene,  Xena's mother, had once owned. Taking a deep breath, Gabrielle walked through the front door. It was too late in the afternoon for the midday meal, and still too early for supper, so the tavern was mostly empty. But still Gabrielle could feel the eyes of the few who were in there.  As she approached the bar someone spoke.

"Gabrielle."

Gabrielle turned toward the voice, and for the space of a heartbeat she thought she saw - No it couldn't be! A tall, slender woman with long dark hair and piercing blue eyes.  For the space of a heartbeat - then she recognized her.

"Eve!"

The two women rushed together and embraced.  For the fiftieth, or was it the one hundredth time, Gabrielle's tears began, and she had no control over them. But for the first time she had a shoulder, a familiar, supportive shoulder to cry on. 

And for Eve, the rumors she had heard, and had so vehemently denied, were true; her mother was dead, slain on the field of battle in a land too far away.   She was not able to control her tears any more than Gabrielle.  For a long time they clung to each other in their mutual anguish and sorrow.

When the tears ran out, and Gabrielle and Eve found a table.  Slowly and haltingly Gabrielle told Eve the story Lord Yodoshi and Xena's death. Before it was over, both women were crying again.

". . . So I made a vow to Xena and to myself that I would bring her ashes back here to be placed in the family burial vault so she could be with Cyrene, Lyceus and Toris. And here I am."

As she spoke, Gabrielle brought out the leather pouch with the ashes of her dear friend. Seeing the curious look on Eve's face, Gabrielle explained why she had to conceal them in the pouch.

"Tomorrow we will buy an urn and then we will have a burial ceremony." Eve told her. "But now I think we should get some sleep. I rented us a room here."

"How did you know I'd come?" Gabrielle asked her.

"I don't know. No, that's not true.  We've been hearing tales and rumors for months about Mother. I didn't want to believe them. But when stories started about a woman with straw-colored hair carrying the Chakram was heading this way, I guess in my heart I knew it must be true. I thought you might come here first."

"S'uu Ma, the granddaughter of Lao Ma, told me that bad news travels on the fastest of ill winds. I guess it's so."   Gabrielle said.

The next day they found a small urn for Xena's remains, and took it to the family vault. Before the ceremony Gabrielle poured all but the tiniest amount into the urn. She kept this for herself, to carry next to her heart forever. When they had finished and left Xena with her family, Eve asked Gabrielle what was next.

"I still have to find Hercules.  Even if he's heard the rumors, he still should know the truth.  And I want to find the Amazons as well. They'll want to know what happened."

"Maybe you can find Hercules, but I don't know about the Amazons. No one has heard anything about them for years. They say the local tribes disbanded, split up, and went to live with tribes in other lands. But I don't know for sure. They may still be around, just keeping to themselves.'

"Well, I still have to try to find them. What will you do?"

"I don't have any real plans. I thought maybe I would travel with you, if you don't mind."

"Mind? Why would I mind? I've been alone for too long, ever since . . .  ever since I left Japa." Again Gabrielle's eyes brimmed with tears.  "I would really like it if came. I have a enough dinars to buy a couple of horses."

"Then I guess we should get started. It's good to have you back. I missed you." 

For the first time in many months, Gabrielle smiled, and gave Eve a warm hug, wetting her shoulders with tears.

 

As Gabrielle and Eve rode past the foothills of Mt Olympus, Gabrielle looked up at it curiously.

"I wonder if Ares knows. I would have thought he'd be the first one I'd run into."

"With him, there's no telling. Maybe he didn't care about Mother after all." Eve answered. "Maybe he doesn't know."

"Maybe, maybe not. But I can't worry about Ares. I've got other things to be concerned with right now.'"

As they made their way to the Amazon camp, neither had much to say. They really didn't have that much in common. But at least neither was alone.  

Eventually they came to the Amazon camp, and the stories Eve had heard were true - the camp had long been abandoned. If it weren't for Gabrielle's sharp eyes, they would have missed it, it was almost completely overgrown. After a short exploration to see if they could find some clue as to where they had gone, Gabrielle concluded they had departed for good and there was no way to tell to which other tribes they had gone.

"So now we do what?" Eve asked.

"I guess we try to find Hercules."

"Do you know where to look?"

"No, I don't. Maybe we can spread the word we're looking for him and he'll find us." Gabrielle suggested.

Before Eve could speak again, she saw Gabrielle tense up as she unclipped the Chakram.

Gabrielle slowly turned in a circle, eyes and ears alert for any movement or sound. Then as Eve began to look for something to use for a weapon, Gabrielle returned the Chakram to its hook.

"Okay, I know you're there. Show yourself!"

And as soon as the words were out of her mouth, Ares appeared in a flash of light.

"Don't tell me that now YOU can sense when I'm here." Ares said to Gabrielle. "I thought Xena was the only one who could do that."

"Maybe it's the Chakram." Gabrielle replied. "So what do you want?"

"I thought you MIGHT want to know that I've been to your Japa looking for Xena."

"Did you find her! What did she say? How is she? Tell me something!"

"Oh, I found her, but I didn't."

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?  Either you did or you didn't."

"You know, they have some really strange demons there. I mean STRANGE!"

"I don't care about the demons. What about Xena?"

"She's there, and she knew I was there, but she wouldn't let me near her."

"What do you mean? You're not making any sense!"

"Xena knew I was there. And she knew, somehow, that if I got close enough to her I would have captured her and brought her back here.  I even tried using your name, but whenever I got close enough to see her, she would just -- fly away."

"But you're a god! How could she get away from you?"

"Look, Gabrielle, when Xena was alive she was unique, very special."

"You're telling me THAT? Of course she was!"

"What I'm trying to say is that as a mortal she was, well, you know. But as a spirit, she's -- I don't know, something WAY past unique. I couldn't get near her.  But there was something else I discovered."

"Okay, what?"

"I found the residue of that Lord Yoshi, or whatever his name was."

"Yodoshi." Gabrielle corrected him.

"Yoshi, Yodoshi, whatever.  I don't know how Xena ever managed to defeat him. The only pure evil I have ever experienced was Dahak.  And this Yoshi character was almost as evil.  I shudder to think what would have happened if they had joined together."

"But what about Xena?" Gabrielle asked impatiently. "Didn't you get to talk to her or anything?"

"Gabrielle, Xena knew why I was there. I could sense she wanted to come back to you. But she couldn't, or wouldn't.  After a while I knew I was wasting my time there, so I came back here, where things aren't quite so weird."

Gabrielle bowed her head, sobbing, then she looked up at Ares. "Maybe if we went back together she would let us bring her back."

Eve put her hand softly on Gabrielle's shoulder. "Gabrielle, if she wouldn't come with you then, what makes you think she would now?"

Gabrielle shook her head, not knowing how to answer.

"Gabrielle," Ares continued. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring Xena back. I mean, I want her here as much as you do. But since I couldn't do that, maybe this will do."

Ares pointed his finger and in a flash of light Hercules appeared, puzzled and then angry when he saw Ares. But before he could say anything, Ares pointed to Gabrielle, who was running for Hercules' arms. Hercules held tight to Gabrielle, sharing her pain. Then he looked up and saw Eve, who also was crying. Hercules put out one arm to her, and she went to him. She, too was suffering a great loss.

As Ares stood around uncomfortable, not knowing what to do, Hercules, Gabrielle and Eve continued to cling to each other.  Then slowly they backed away from the embrace. It was then that Gabrielle got a good look at Hercules.

"Hercules, what happened to you? Your hair is turning gray, and the wrinkles. . . ."

"Gabrielle, don't forget you and Xena were asleep for 25 years, thanks to Ares."

"Hey! I thought they were dead. Nobody told me different."

"I'm not criticizing you, just surprised at your concern."

"Well, don't let it get around. I do have a reputation, you know."

"Anyway," Hercules continued. "I'm not immortal, but I do age slower than mortal men. But what about Xena?  Do you think you can tell me what happened? Or would you rather not talk about it?"

"No, I don't mind, too much. Besides placing her remains in the family vault, I knew you'd want to know what happened."

Once again Gabrielle told the story of the defeat of Yodoshi and Xena's end. For a while after Gabrielle had finished her narrative no one spoke, each remembering Xena in their own way.

"But now I don't know what else to do." Gabrielle finally said. "I swore to myself I'd find a way to bring her back, but I'm lost. I just don't know."

"Even I tried to get her back." Ares said to Hercules, "But she wouldn't let me near her."

"You said." Eve added.

"What? You think I made it all up?" Ares asked angrily.

"I believe you." Gabrielle said, "And thank you for trying."

"Well, I guess I should check up on Aphrodite. She's not doing too good since she found out about Xena."

"Tell her - tell her not to worry, I'll think of something. Everything will be all right." Gabrielle told Ares.

With a nod, Ares flashed out.

Gabrielle looked around as if searching for something, anything to take her mind off Xena.  Then she had a thought.

"Eve, what about Michael, you know, the Archangel?  Couldn't he do something?"

"He might, but it will be up to you whether he helps or not."

"What do you mean?"

"Before you ask him for help for Mother, you will have to purge yourself of all the rage and anger and hatred you have in your heart."

"I'm not angry, and I don't hate anyone."

"Yes you do, Gabrielle.  You feel hatred toward the samurai who took Xena's life. And you are angry at Xena."

"No, you're mistaken, Eve, I love Xena, and I miss her terribly. I'm not angry at her."

"You ARE angry at her.  You're angry because she allowed herself to be killed.  And you are especially angry because she didn't allow you to bring her back to life at the Fountain of Strength. You feel she betrayed you and broke her promise to you that she'd never leave you."

Several times Gabrielle opened her mouth to answer, but didn't have the words. She knew Eve was right. She WAS angry!

"But what can I do? How do I change the way I feel?"

"You must find a place of peacefulness,  like the banks of a gentle river. And you have to find a way to cleanse away all the anger and hate. Gabrielle, you must return to The Way of Love. Only then will Michael speak with you."

"But how? Do I fast? Or . . . "

"You must do what is right for you. If you think fasting is the right thing, then do it.  No one can tell you. Only you can decide what is the best way for you."

"Will you stay and help me?"

"No. I wish I could, but this is your journey. You must take it alone. But the first thing you should do is to put the Chakram and your sais in a place you cannot see, and cannot get to. Bury them if necessary. While you are seeking peace, you cannot have implements of war with you."

Gabrielle nodded her head, then asked, "So what will you do, where will you go?"

"I think I'd like to travel with Hercules for a while. We've never had much of a chance to get to know each other, and right now I think we both would like to share the stories we have about Mother."

Eve looked over at Hercules and he nodded and smiled back at her in agreement.

"But how long will it take?" Gabrielle asked, almost in desperation.

"That will depend on you, and how quickly you can rid yourself of the damaging emotions. Concentrate on your love for Mother, not the betrayal and anger you feel. I know you can do it."

Gabrielle walked with them until they came to a river. After hugs, tears, and goodbyes, Eve and Hercules turned upstream, toward the north, and Gabrielle went downstream, south.

As she walked along the riverbank, Gabrielle tried to sort out her feelings.  They were so mixed up she didn't know how she felt about anything. Eventually hunger made her decide to stop to eat. And as she was, she realized she was at the right place.  There was plenty of shade, soft grass, and the river made a gentle, tranquil gurgling sound.  As she sat she closed her eyes, hearing the peaceful sounds of nature - the chirp of crickets, the hum of the bees, the swish of the leaves in the wind.

"Oh, Xena, why couldn't you be here? You would love this place, I know. It is so restful, so peaceful. I bet there are plenty of fish in the river. And I saw signs of deer, so the hunting would be good.  You promised me, you know. So many times you swore you'd never leave me. How could you break your promise? I trusted you!"

((Gabrielle, I'm still here, in your thoughts, and in your heart.))

"No, Xena, it's not the same, it's not good enough. I want to see your face and hear your voice. I want to touch you. I have no one, Xena. No one to talk to; no one to laugh with. No one to -- no one to HOLD me. Oh, Xena I miss you so. Why can't you be with me?"

((Gabrielle, don't you think I want to be with you? But I can't, I just can't.))

"But why? Why can't you?"

((It's for the Greater Good.))

"No! No! Stop it! I don't want to hear about the Greater Good!  I don't CARE about the Greater Good!"

((But that's what this is all about, don't you see?))

"The Greater Good for who, Xena?  For who?"

Before Xena could answer, Gabrielle ran into the river, struggling to get to the other side, struggling to run away from herself.  As she stumbled onto the shore, she fell to the ground, and remained there, crying herself to sleep. The next morning Gabrielle crossed back over the river to her original camp.  As she fixed breakfast she tried not to think. Because her thoughts always returned to Xena, and thinking about Xena only brought her pain.

"Eve said I must return to the Way of Love. If I'm going to do that, I must clear my mind of all negative thoughts."

Gabrielle found a comfortable spot in the grass, closed her eyes and began to slow her breathing, trying to relax.

((Gabrielle.))

Gabrielle clinched her teeth, took an irritated breath, let it out slowly, and tried once again to relax.

((Gabrielle.))

"I don't want to talk to you, Xena. Leave me alone."

((We have to talk, Gabrielle.))

"NO! We don't have to talk. It hurts me too much when we talk, and then I get angry."

((Do you think you're the only one who's hurting? Don't you think that I ache just as much as you do?))

"I -- I don't know."

((Yes you do, Gabrielle. You know.  If you want to find your way back you have to face the truth.))

"But if it hurt YOU so much, why did you leave me?"

((Gabrielle, we make choices every day. Sometimes they're easy and sometimes they're hard.  And sometimes they are unbearably hard.  But we have to make them, Gabrielle. That's what life is all about. Do you think I wanted to leave you? Do you think I cared so little about you, or the promises I made?))

"But. . . ."

((After everything we've been through these many years, how can you even begin to think I don't love you?  Gabrielle, we have laughed and cried together. We've fought side by side, saved each other's life.  We even died together, and we came back. What else could happen to make you realize how much I love you and want to be with you?))

"But you . . . ."

((But if that isn't enough, think about Eve.))

"Eve? What about Eve?"

((Gabrielle, I love Eve as much as any mother could love her daughter. But you're the one I chose to live my life with. I chose You, not Eve.))

"But you left me." Gabrielle said weakly.

((Gabrielle, do you remember the day I came to Poteidaia? You couldn't wait to leave with me even though I told you  you should stay.  So what did you do? You sneaked away in the dead of night. Do you think your parents were hurting any less then than you are now? At least we were able to say goodbye. You didn't even give them that.))

"But I came back, eventually."

((Do you think that made the hurt any less for them when they discovered you were gone?))

"No, I suppose not."

((But you made the choice to leave, just like I made the choice I had to make.  Your parents forgave you for leaving.  You forgave Callisto for killing Perdicus.  Can't you find it in your heart to forgive me?))

Gabrielle tried to answer, to tell Xena how sorry she was for her anger and resentment, but instead she could only curl into a ball and cry, again. How long she lay  on the beach she had no idea, but when Gabrielle finally got up it was late afternoon.  She ate a light supper, bathed, and sat watching the sun as it slowly set. 

"You're right, Xena, as usual. I know you did what you felt was right, you always do.  It's just that I was so scared. Without you I felt the world was closing in on me, you've always been there to protect me, to care for me.  But we'll be together again, I promise, with or without Michael's help."

As darkness finally covered the earth, Gabrielle lay next to the fire letting a peaceful sleep overtake her. 

"Tomorrow I'll head east again, back to Japa. I'm coming to get you, Xena."

 

Gabrielle slowly rolled over, stretching herself awake.  The sun was starting to show through the leaves of the tallest trees. 

"What a beautiful day this is going to be." Gabrielle thought to herself. "A good day to begin a journey, right after breakfast."

As Gabrielle busied herself packing up her bedroll and other essentials, she noticed how bright the morning sun seemed to be.

"Must be a good sign." She thought.

"Gabrielle."

Gabrielle jumped at the voice. Even though it is was somewhat familiar, it was unexpected. She turned and saw a familiar face.

"Michael! You came! I didn't expect to see you."

"Eve told you I'd be here when you were ready."

"But I, I mean, I thought it would take longer."

"For some people it does.  You made peace with yourself and you didn't even realize it."

"I was just about to leave, to go back to Japa."

"I know. But before you do, there are some things you may want to know."

"Such as?"

"What questions do you have?"

"Are you kidding? Where do I start?  Why did Xena have to die?"

"She died in order to fight and defeat Lord Yodoshi."

"That I know! Why couldn't she have come back to life? Why couldn't she come back with me?"

"Xena has done many evil things in her life, things she must atone for."

"But she's been trying. Ever since I've known her, everything she's done has been to make up for the wrongs she done."

"Gabrielle, one good deed doesn't make up for a hundred evil ones.  Xena has much to answer for."

"But we died and went to heaven. Doesn't that mean she was forgiven?"

"Yes, she was forgiven for the death and destruction at Cirra. Her death and ascent to heaven was needed to allow Callisto to become the good and pure soul she was meant to be.  Although, I must admit for a while  we were afraid we were going to lose all three of you.  But things worked out like they were supposed to.  Why do you think you and Xena were returned to your bodies?"

"I don't know."

"Because it wasn't your time. And Xena had so much more to do."

"We died together and we were reborn together. That means we are soul mates, doesn't it?"

"Gabrielle, what does that mean to you, soul mates?"

"I guess it means that two people are meant to be together, forever."

"That's a pretty good guess. When someone finds a mate to marry, they believe he or she is the only one for them. But the truth is, there are probably hundreds of others they could be just as happy with, but they just didn't meet them first.  But once in a thousand years or so there are two souls created that are destined to become so close, so entwined that they are almost as one, as if one soul is sharing two bodies. Yours and Xena's are two such souls.  That is why you feel such pain at your separation.  But as agonizing as it is for you, Xena's anguish is many times more than yours."

"But why should she suffer more?"

"Because she has more to make amends for.  Gabrielle, when you and Xena met, your soul was innocent and pure, but Xena's was damaged and flawed.   Only with the blending of her soul with yours could hers begin to heal.  But be warned! Xena still has many personal demons to fight. When you return to Japa, and when you find the way for her to be forgiven for the lost souls and she returns to her body, you two will still have many battles to fight for the redemption of her soul. There will be danger and there will be heartache. The question I have for you is,  Are you willing to undertake this perilous ordeal without reservation? Is the life of Xena, and her salvation, worth the effort?"

"Michael, I will fight as many of Xena's demons as I have to. I will do anything, whatever it takes, to bring her back to me.  Xena and I WILL be together again!"

Michael smiled gently at Gabrielle and softly put one hand to her cheek as he began his ascent to the heavens. His parting words were faint, but so clear,

"As you were meant to be."

**To Be Continued**


End file.
